Traveling Held my Family Together After my Dad Died
July 5th is a weird day for my family. Ten years ago on July 5th, my dad died suddenly. It’s hard for me to write about it and even try to put my thoughts into words because it mostly feels like flashes of emotion. (If that makes any sense?) So many thoughts have been running through my head this year around this time, because whether I show my emotions or not, 10 years feels like the longest and shortest time, ever. So much has happened and he hasn’t been here. And yet, it feels like yesterday that I was receiving the news.
It’s weird. It will never not be weird. But, we keep going and we keep living the way we would if he were here. The biggest way we do that is through traveling. Growing up my family traveled a lot. It was our top priority, especially for my parents. We literally called my dad the fun police, because he was always making sure that we were having fun. In fact, days before his death we had just gotten back from two family trips to Oregon and Chicago. Because of our vacations, my whole family bonded. We were as close as they come. This made my dad’s death all the more heartbreaking and difficult.
People don’t usually talk about certain things when it comes to the death of a parent. Of course we missed him. But all of a sudden, financially we were down to one income. My mom had to completely alter her financial plan. As a kid, all I ever saw was that my mom still wanted to keep traveling as a priority for us. Meanwhile, she worked harder than ever to refinance our house, deal with my dad’s businesses, and ensure that we were still financially stable. She knew that one of the fabrics that held my family together was traveling so she made every active effort to keep traveling with us.
One of the first trips we took as a trio was to Joshua Tree National Park in California. This was less than a year later. It didn’t need to be across the world, but we needed to get out of Los Angeles, explore somewhere new, and just be together. These vacations became a way for us to continue to grow together and stay a close-knit family, even though we were missing a huge piece.
In the following years, we continued to travel and see the world as he would have wanted. Instead of spreading his ashes in one place, we took them with us. Kind of gross, sure, but we made sure he was still traveling. He ended up in some pretty incredible (and sometimes funny) spots. It was our way of honoring and remembering him.
Even though I’m an adult now (according to some), traveling is still in my personal foundation and I’ve taken it upon myself to learn how to handle the finances to support it. My mom’s adaptability and level-head motivated me to keep traveling and learn how to do so even with a limited student income. If she could do it in those circumstances, I could definitely do it as a student!
Now, travel remains a top priority for me, especially because of the incredible memories vacations lead to! I am a firm believer in memories over material things and this entire experience has only solidified that more. So, here’s to more travels, making more memories, and doing it with the people we love!
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This chapter was wonderful. I will never forget the Treesort and the fun your Dad had on the “Jungle Swing”. He was an incredible fellow and he passed those good genes on to you and Devin. You are a truly special woman in our lives and I am very grateful to have you in my life.